|
Finding myself
The dancer inside  Justinian I wasn't born to dance. I don't write the best stories. I ain't the sharpest gamer. And I'm not a perfect lover. But. I dance. I write. I game. And I love. I am not perfect. I am Justinian. |
My sanctuary
Me against the music Scroll down for my blog Remniscence at Dusk
Gone with the wind March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 |
Dance with me
My past & present
Wordpress Youtube Short Stories Granado Espada Fan Fiction The Choreographers
Follow their dances Desi gner Colours / Headers Cherie Michaela Kwek |
On The Raven's Flight
Friday, April 13, 2012
Hey Sweetie,I'm writing this unsure whether or not you will chance upon it at the right moment. But I shall leave the fates to decide that.
On Tuesday we met up, and had lunch over at my workplace.
A line you said stuck with me longer than you thought it might.
"I don't like ambiguous relationships"
That hit home.
Babe, I don't think you know this yet so Im gunna tell ya.
I DO like you.
Given a choice I'd already have made you my own.
Tell the world ur my precious jewel.
Pour out all the love I kept inside.
Hold you in my arms and kiss you like the world is taking its curtain call.
But see?
I am who I am.
If I do all that. Right now.
Then this will just end up like the so many I had before.
We'd burn like a wildfire, hard, fast, unrestrained, but at the same time, we'd burn out just as fast and all that's left will be a smoking husk of moments we shared.
Every moment I'd holding myself back, telling myself that this time, I need to be in control of my actions.
That I cannot let my impulse and instincts ride me through another one.
This time, I need to be sure first, before I dive into it.
So that even if it doesnt work out.
We'd still have a beautiful memory.
Years down we can look back over a cup of coffee and still smile, abiet in bittersweet nostalgia.
I've broken hearts, I won't lie.
But I've had my share of bad experiences too.
And all that...
I just don't want it to happen again...
This relationship we have right now?
It's not ambiguous.
You made it clear you like me.
I like ya too.
And we're dating.
We ain't together, not just yet.
But we're DEFINITELY dating.
When the time comes babe, when it finally feels right, and that a relationship is a good choice we'd know it, and we'd make that decision.
But meanwhile, forget all that messy stuff.
Enjoy my company,
As I would enjoy yours.
Live the moment.
The Raven's Flight
The lonely fields of white and fluff
Above a world of "not enough"
A single shadow tells a tale
Cut and slice beyond the gale.
The Raven's Call and solemn flight
Sending ripples beyond plain sight
And as the world around disdain
It just keeps soldiering on the pain
For who can love the mighty crow?
With all the scars it doesn't show
A songbird lands and takes a step
Even when she fears a trap
The songbird sings and starts to croon
Smiles with the beauty of the moon
Perhaps the start of a another chance
And so the Raven began to dance
Above a world of "not enough"
A single shadow tells a tale
Cut and slice beyond the gale.
The Raven's Call and solemn flight
Sending ripples beyond plain sight
And as the world around disdain
It just keeps soldiering on the pain
For who can love the mighty crow?
With all the scars it doesn't show
A songbird lands and takes a step
Even when she fears a trap
The songbird sings and starts to croon
Smiles with the beauty of the moon
Perhaps the start of a another chance
And so the Raven began to dance
-Justinian
In dedication to Amanda
Monday, March 19, 2012
The calm wind dances on peaceful nightsCaress your thoughts and gentle lights
Just beyond the Amber Roads
A princess rests beneath her folds
Serenity calls and dreams unfurl
Beauty and grace, of a lovely girl
Musics of the sweetest surrender
An angel that they call Amanda
-Justinian
Been awhile since I've written something. Found inspiration again.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
It's been awhile since I've been single now.God I didnt even realise how fast time has gone by.
These nights.
When words just seem to escape you.
And you just cant explain the situation you're in.
How do you justify falling for a close friend?
On triple dance projects
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Guess today's a reminiscent day.Things haven't been looking too grand since I promised En to go on a hiatus off relationships.
Basically sitting around getting fat.
Work @ Empire state's pretty fun. Short hours means that I never really get bored with the job.
It's really decent I guess, the pay is fine, my colleagues are fun and there's always the supper to look forward to, with the chefs always trying to cook up something different and nice.
On a side note.
I'm swamped with dance projects!
Gawd!
Decided to embark on a personal project choreographing a modern/contemporary piece to Taylor Swift's Safe & Sound.
It's something totally out of my genre, but fun to try nonetheless. Gonna shoot the video too, but at the rate things are going, i'd be lucky to roll that out by May.
Brandon's 21st birthday is coming soon too.
Am doing a performance for him alongside Randall & Alissa, peng's new gal.
Gonna be big for all of us, and we've less than a month to prep for it.
A rush for time, for a gala night.
And of course, the last project, Alissa's own.
We're doing a duo dance to SYTYCD's Lauren & Twitch's My Chick Bad.
It's crazy sexy and flirtatious with not alot of uberly difficult moves.
But that's still the highest end of choreography I've tried.
Not exactly confident I can pull it off.
Not while I'm sitting here being fat at least.
On Losing Friends Again
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
These couple of years.It seems I've lost friend after friend.
It's beginning to convince me that somehow, there's something desperately wrong with me.
At first it was easy to make excuses.
They were young, immature, bitchy, they just couldn't handle me etc.
But this time.
What excuse can I come up with?
And with Arino?
What excuses were there for that?
I thought I'm a better person now.
Nary the same person I was back in secondary school.
But I'm wrong ain't I?
I had everything going for me.
And it was all so perfect.
Had to ruin it all by being an idiot.
And this thing in me.
It isn't the first time people have freaked from it.
I need to get cured.
Kiro, Ian. Everyone.
They have got to go.
Only then maybe It will go too.
I don't want to lose you.
It's only recently that I've felt alright again.
Even with the scars crystal left behind.
I thought maybe in time to come, given awhile to heal, I'd be ready to move on again.
You gave me the touch I craved so badly, and made me feel secure, wanted.
I could be myself around you, and if that means wild changes depending on which personality I took on,
You understood, and accepted me for who I am.
I don't want to lose a friend.
Maybe I am that fucked up afterall.
Sick and tired.
If only it was really that easy to get a .45 in Singapore.
The Animal Inside
The Animal Inside
A bit of wind blowing thru the windows wide
The cold sheets are talkin' bout 'em memories
Times we used to call us "You and Me"
We were shots on fire burning fast and free
The heat of our vendetta plain for all to see
Should have held you close should have held you tight
I guess I should've made sure things would be alright
So run, baby, run.
From the beast that I am
Run, baby, run
You have all the reasons to
Never turn back
Or look around
I won't be coming back again
You don't need a guy
Who would hurt you like that.
.45 round fit in the chamber
Russian roulette seems just fine
See guys like that don't need to see the sunlight
Maybe it's better he's gone forever
Tear out my mind
Wash it clean with sodium hypochloride
Rip my insides and lay them on the floor
For the world to see,
The beast inside me
So run, baby, run.
From the beast that I am
Run, baby, run
You have all the reasons to
Never turn back
Or look around
I won't be coming back again
You don't need a guy
Who would hurt you like that.
So run, baby, run.
From the beast that I am
Run, baby, run
You have all the reasons to
Never turn back
Or look around
I won't be coming back again
You don't need a guy
Who would hurt you like that.
-Justinian, in dedication to Emma
On Finding Your Soulmate
Thursday, November 03, 2011
This is long overdue. Should have written it so many months ago.
But I guess now, more than ever, I'm ready.
Girl,
I miss you.
And I've been a fool for these past years, trying to find someone who would fill up the empty space you left in my life when you left.
All this time, looking for someone to complete me.
And it finally took a good friend of mine to make me realise the person who would complete me was you.
I treated you terribly when we were together.
I didn't gave you my all, even when you were my world.
I had chances aplenty to do that. To show you how much I loved you.
But I didn't.
And now, almost 3 years down the road and reminiscing on those days, I would travel back in time and beat up the guy who I was.
I cannot change the past.
But I can decide the future.
I've lived 3 years, with the mistake of losing you as a burden upon my shoulders.
A guilt I lived with, every single day, remembering that once in my life, I had it all, and didn't treasure it.
They say you never miss the water until it's gone.
Well, I sure miss it.
I will not lie, these past years, I've gone out with quite a number of girls.
And at the end of everyone of them, I look back only to realise that each and everyone of them resembles you in one way or another.
I think of you time and again, but have never looked back because I wasn't ready to enter your life again.
There is so much more I can say in this, but I could write a million more words, and they would not be enough to tell you what I want to.
And so I leave with this final note.
Girl?
I'm coming back into your life.
Because you're the one girl that I love,
The girl I could never get over.
The one girl I can look into the eyes, tell her she's the most beautiful person in the world, and not have a single thought in my head tell me otherwise.
No more being a retard.
No more being a douchebag.
No more cowardice.
This time.
I'm going all out for you.
I'm ready girl.
A new Justinian.
One who'd treat you right.
Love you like you should.
You wait for me gal.
I'm coming.
Just you wait.